Seems like I will remain single for ever. I can not see how my life will change, and how someone will ever fit in it again. It seems like I deliberately block people (especially woman) out of it. They say "a man can not be alone" or "God made Eve for Adam" but I feel confused. At this stage I totally feel content with my life - except for one thing: But I do not want a woman in my life just for that!! It would be so wrong!! Although I have had a total sexual abstinence since my divorce in 2012, I can't stop thinking about how nice it would feel again, just to be with a woman, but then my mind takes over, and remind me about my norms. I am God fearing, thus have this constant battle between my flesh and my spirit. It might even be wrong and sinful already, just to feel the way I do. (to wish for a sexual encounter, without committing a life together) Not only spiritually, but even physically it would be so wrong, because then I will only use a person for my own desires. Unless I find someone who has the same urges, who do not mind to "help each other out" from time to time. Someone who is also content with their single life, and do not want the burden of a "life partner". Still seems impossible, and immoral, though. But I can just not envisage a serious long lasting relationship of trust and mutual friendship again. What I would like to do, is to start talking with a woman who is like-minded. (If she ever exist, and admit to it, and is open to talk, and later act upon) I want to see if we can maintain a conversation, to find out if our beings accepts the willingness to attempt a chance on a relationship, or not (or what ever might follow). Or will I be destined for self satisfaction for the rest of my life? If this frightened you, It is okay, just drop me a message anyway, to tell me that I am abnormal, and need to work on my issues, then move on. But if you think that we could be of some kind of benefit to each other, please message me with a substantial message - not just a "hi". I promise, I am not a weirdo - I just have fantasies, that I suppressed for too long now, for some ethical and moral reasons. For some people, it might be nothing, and they may even consider it a normal way of life - But to me, it is still "a black dog fighting the white dog" issue, in my inner being. Lets see how many (if any) messages I will get now! I bet everyone will just scroll past, and find a less complicated guy?
Herman1979 is 38 years old.